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Episode 100: Tango
: "Every time we watch a Flop House movie I'm hoping it's going to be this kind of movie. And then it turns out to be like ''10,000 B.C. or Whiteout. And it's just so disappointing, because I know there's gotta be another Tango & Cash out there. There's gotta be."'' : —Elliott @42:25 Tag : "Mr. Tango has spoken very eloquently, and I wish I could be as forgiving. But I can't, because this whole thing FUCKING SUCKS!"'' Movie Summary Premise : After criminal mastermind Yves Perret (Jack Palance) successfully frames LAPD supercops Ray Tango (Sylvester Stallone) and Gabriel Cash (Kurt Russell) for corruption and murder, the disgraced cops must join forces in order to clear their names. Story : '''Characters * Sylvester Stallone as independently-wealthy narcotics cop Ray Tango, who can accurately hit a moving target at 100 yards with a snubnosed revolver. * Kurt Russell as sloppily-dressed narcotics cop Gabriel Cash, who can chase a would-be assassin out of a second-story window after getting shot in a bulletproof vest at close range. * Jack Palance as criminal mastermind Yves Perret, who has a fondness for small rodents and elaborate revenge schemes. * James Hong as Perret's chain-smoking lieutenant Quan. * Brion James as cockney gangster Ponytail, whose weapon of choice is (for some reason) a highly impractical straight razor. * Clint Howard as Slinky, Ray Tango's psychopathic cellmate. * Michael J. Pollard as a mentally-retarded LAPD weaponsmith who furnishes Tango and Cash with a heavily-armored battletruck equipped with a chain gun. * Teri Hatcher as Catherine, an exotic dancer who arrhythmically bangs on electronic drum pads as part of her fully-clothed stage routine. : Other Important Story Elements * A Nagra SNST-R miniature analog audio recorder. @21:20, 22:50 * Fart noises @37:15 * Testicle violence @41:15 * Random boobs @07:35 : The ending involves a giant explosion which destroys the evidence of the villain's wrongdoing, yet nevertheless the heroes are somehow exonerated. Quotes * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Better Than * 12 Rounds (Episode 41: 12 Rounds @31:20) * [[Episode 20: 10,000 B.C.|''10,000 B.C.]] @42:45 * ''From Paris With Love (Episode 63: From Paris With Love) * ''Whiteout'' @42:45 Final Judgments * The Best Movie Ever Made (unanimous) @43:05 * Episode Highlights Quotes * * * Fivehead Goes West @42:55 * Listener Mail : "Honey, Where's My Super Suit?" from Curt Holman @45:05 : "Further Injustices Adjusted" from The Rejustinator @51:55 :: Stuart refers to he who shall not be named, and they discuss Dan's accent. : "Correction" from Brian Lastnamewithheld @54:45 :: Episode 88: Priest : "I Hereby Commission Elliott to Write a Prequel to ''In Time'' Featuring Seven Pounds That Posits a World Where Time Is Weight" from John Lastnamewithheld @56:55 Recommendations * Birdemic: Shock and Terror (2010) by James Nguyen (Dan) @1:01:40 * Dark of the Sun (1968) by Jack Cardiff (Elliott) @1:00:30 * (Stuart) @1:04:30 Mentioned In * Episode 1: Stealth @10:40 * Movie Minute Number 3: Coming Attractions * Episode 22: Vantage Point @26:35 * Episode 29: Step Up 2: The Streets @28:00 * Episode 30: Bangkok Dangerous @53:45 * Episode 32: Academy Awards Floptacular @06:25 * Episode 41: 12 Rounds @31:20 * Episode 84: Sucker Punch @52:55 * Episode 92: Country Strong @49:55 * Episode 123: That's My Boy @20:30 * Episode 153: G.I. Joe: Retaliation @48:10 * Episode 214: Victor Frankenstein @09:50 Category:Episodes Category:Popular Topics Category:Recommendations Category:Buddy Cop Movies Category:Action Category:Richard Fancy Category:Brion James Category:Adolfo Quinones Category:Kurt Russell Category:Sylvester Stallone Category:Geoffrey Lewis Category:Robert Z'Dar Category:Unanimous Good-Bad Movies Category:Teri Hatcher Category:James Hong Category:Clint Howard Category:Los Angeles Category:Jack Palance